A Funny Tale ~ Shelving and Potty Talk

I have a funny story to share. This story, for the most part, has

nothing to do with living in China.  It all began with the monster

closet that our apartment manager bought for us but ran out of money

before buying the guts. The funny story isn't even about this closet being too tall for every single spot in our apartment. The funny story isn't even about us going to

Ikea THREE to times to buy the insides, only to find we bought the

wrong ones, parts out of stock, etc.

Here's where the fun begins. Last Saturday (trip 3 to Ikea) was to

complete the closet. We were told the shelves would take two hours to

bring to the store.Who knew that some items were stored off-site? 

 Of course they told us this at the END of our much

more than two hour shopping trip. We were exhausted and over loaded so

we agreed I would come back during the week to pick up the shelves.

Today I looked forward to another alone trip to the giant blue and

yellow box store  (trip 4). I checked online to make sure the shelves

were in stock. They were, it was going to be a breeze.

I decided to use the restroom before my spree. There was a line  for

one stall, another stall was empty. I assumed the line was for the

western toilet. After a few 

minutes it was my turn and I soon found it was a "squatter". If you have never seen a squatter it is basically a hole in the ground. Now squatting is not a task I have perfected yet. The last time resulted

in a mess...shhhhhh....don't tell anyone. I decided to try again. I

thought it through back to 8th grade geometry and the perfect angle.

The perfect pressure is also key I quickly learned. But successful I

was, although embarrassed at the particular pose I was in to

accomplish success. Upon completion I balanced to stand and smacked my

head on the toilet paper holder, right at the jagged part that is

supposed to cut the paper but never does. I guess I should be thankful

for the toilet paper holder, as often times there isn't one.  Ouch! It

hurt! But I couldn't check to see if it was bleeding for fear I'd lose

my balance. Finally I leave the stall, wash my hands and notice the

other stall (the empty one!) was the western toilet. All in all, that

portion of the trip was a success.

I filled my cart making sure I only stuck to my

list. Of course, the self serve section (where the shelve should be)

is the last section before paying. So after shopping for an hour and a

half I look for Pax . After not finding it myself I go to

the help desk. Without really communicating he prints me out a paper

and indicates that I pay and pick up the shelves. That I do. It's at

Customer Service that I'm told it will be TWO HOURS before I can get

my shelves!!! Apparently I am learning that some items, like above

item, is not stored in the gigantic warehouse known as Ikea. Some

items are stored elsewhere, two hours away!!! I was not leaving this

place without my shelves! So I bought a hot dog and ice cream cone

(for a total of 4 kuai = .60 cents USD) and sat. Nevermind my frozen

cinnamon rolls from the Ikea market melting in my bag!

Moral of the story- look for squatters and prepare to wait!