Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Funny Tale ~ Shelving and Potty Talk

I have a funny story to share. This story, for the most part, has
nothing to do with living in China.  It all began with the monster
closet that our apartment manager bought for us but ran out of money
before buying the guts. The funny story isn't even about this closet being too tall for every single spot in our apartment. The funny story isn't even about us going to
Ikea THREE to times to buy the insides, only to find we bought the
wrong ones, parts out of stock, etc.

Here's where the fun begins. Last Saturday (trip 3 to Ikea) was to
complete the closet. We were told the shelves would take two hours to
bring to the store.Who knew that some items were stored off-site? 
 Of course they told us this at the END of our much
more than two hour shopping trip. We were exhausted and over loaded so
we agreed I would come back during the week to pick up the shelves.

Today I looked forward to another alone trip to the giant blue and
yellow box store  (trip 4). I checked online to make sure the shelves
were in stock. They were, it was going to be a breeze.

I decided to use the restroom before my spree. There was a line  for
one stall, another stall was empty. I assumed the line was for the
western toilet. After a few 
minutes it was my turn and I soon found it was a "squatter". If you have never seen a squatter it is basically a hole in the ground. Now squatting is not a task I have perfected yet. The last time resulted
in a mess...shhhhhh....don't tell anyone. I decided to try again. I
thought it through back to 8th grade geometry and the perfect angle.
The perfect pressure is also key I quickly learned. But successful I
was, although embarrassed at the particular pose I was in to
accomplish success. Upon completion I balanced to stand and smacked my
head on the toilet paper holder, right at the jagged part that is
supposed to cut the paper but never does. I guess I should be thankful
for the toilet paper holder, as often times there isn't one.  Ouch! It
hurt! But I couldn't check to see if it was bleeding for fear I'd lose
my balance. Finally I leave the stall, wash my hands and notice the
other stall (the empty one!) was the western toilet. All in all, that
portion of the trip was a success.

I filled my cart making sure I only stuck to my
list. Of course, the self serve section (where the shelve should be)
is the last section before paying. So after shopping for an hour and a
half I look for Pax . After not finding it myself I go to
the help desk. Without really communicating he prints me out a paper
and indicates that I pay and pick up the shelves. That I do. It's at
Customer Service that I'm told it will be TWO HOURS before I can get
my shelves!!! Apparently I am learning that some items, like above
item, is not stored in the gigantic warehouse known as Ikea. Some
items are stored elsewhere, two hours away!!! I was not leaving this
place without my shelves! So I bought a hot dog and ice cream cone
(for a total of 4 kuai = .60 cents USD) and sat. Nevermind my frozen
cinnamon rolls from the Ikea market melting in my bag!
Moral of the story- look for squatters and prepare to wait!

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