Yesterday was our "moving survey". This is where a rep from the moving company comes over and goes through every single item in your house, yard and garage. Every item needed to be decided as 1) ship "ocean" to China 2) store 3) leave for renters 4) get rid of 5) suitcase to China. Thank goodness we had been pretty organized about getting rid of stuff early on and making lists of what goes, but it still was emotionally draining. Why? Am I too emotionally attached to material posessions? I did not break down until later at night (weekly emotional meltdown? check), but the rep did say that quite often people burst into tears. It's just all becoming so real. I think it has to do with the whole concept of our home is not the "brick and mortar", it is the memories and relationships that occur inside those walls. Now I am being given weight allowance (only 2,000 to ship and only 10,000 to store) of what memories to pack up to sit in some warehouse and what sails the ocean to be later reunited with us. Daunting task, but it is now over. He predicted our house was somewhere between 20,000-24,000 pounds...let the negotiations begin.
Speaking of relationships...the kids and I are all going through different stages of grieving the loss of our close friends. Hubby isn't, that I know of. It is completely normal for life to go on and I do not expect the world to come crashing down since I am leaving. Although, it is just strange to see good friends form new close relationships and to hear plans being made for after we leave. I think this is the hardest things on the kids. They speak of it daily. There is also anxiety about coming back and those other relationships will have grown in our absence. They ask, "will I be accepted back in?" We all know the answer, nevertheless, it weighs on their minds. I know these are all normal feelings, however it is still difficult. There is a sense that people have already said goodbye to us. But instead of being "poor me" I choose to tell myself that these are life lessons for me and the children, that these emotions build character and will help us later on in life.
After all, isn't that what this entire experience is all about?